Internal
by Kyouya's Kitten
Summary: He was dying slowly and there was nothing he could do about it.


_White walls surround us_

_No light will touch your face again_

_Rain taps the window_

_As we sleep among the dead_

It was raining. He sat near him. His love. His friend. He had been in the hospital for two weeks now. He was internally bleeding. 'Damn you, Doji.' He swore in his head. He took Kyouya's hand in his and looked at his sleeping face. Tears slid down Nile's face as the truth poured over him, time and time again.

_Days go on forever_

_But I have not left your side_

_We can chase the dark together_

_If you go then so will I_

He had been in the hospital room the whole time Kyouya had been. He had not slept enough. He had thought over and over about what he was told. He had replayed the great times between him and the older. And each time he had, new tears ran over the trails left by old ones.

_There is nothing left of you_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_

He knew he was dying. He knew he could not change it. The doctors had tried. But each time, failed. And Nile hated them. He hated them for not being able to save one of the very few people in this sick and dark world that he loved. He hated them for being the only people in the world that could save him, but couldn't and wouldn't try anymore.

Cold light above us

_Hope fills the heart_

_And fades away_

_Skin white as winter_

_As the sky returns to grey_

Each time a bit of movement came from Kyouya, Nile would tell himself that Kyouya would be fine. He would live, he'd have to! But... Each sound that came from the heart monitor and each drip from the three IV's in Kyouya's veins, each giving him different fluids he's need to _try_ to recover, the numerous sounds coming from each different machine, would remind him of the truth. And his hope faded away.

_Days go on forever_

_But I have not left your side_

_We can chase the dark together_

_If you go then so will I_

He had been near Kyouya's side for a full three weeks now. He began to tell himself, and vow to Kyouya's sleeping self that when he died, he would take himself from the world. That no matter what, he would not be separated from the older. He refused it. He wouldn't live if Kyouya died.

_There is nothing left of you_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_

When it happened, the accident, there was too much pain in the older's eyes for even Nile to bear looking at. He wondered over and over how Kyouya had been fighting to live for so long. For Nile had seen it in Kyouya's deep blue eyes. For a split second, they were not blue, no. Not anymore. They had turned grey in Nile's own eyes.

_I keep holding onto you_

_But I can't bring you back to life_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_Then say the last goodbye_

Nile knew that no matter how much false hope he'd filled himself with, he could not bring Kyouya back. Back to himself. He would soon have to say goodbye eternally to the boy he once loved, and forever would.

_You're dead alive_

Kyouya was still alive physically, that was a fact. But on the inside. He was dead. He was already fading from what had been. From what he'd known. He had been suffering pain. Unbearable pain. And that was what had killed him.

_There is nothing left of you_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_

The doctors told Nile that within only a matter of a few days, there would not be enough blood running through Kyouya's veins to support life. His kidneys would not work. His liver would shut down. His brain would not function. His lungs would not draw in oxygen. His heart. Would stop.

_I keep holding onto you_

He took Kyouya's hand into his own as yet another few tears made their way across his cheeks.

_Say the last goodbye_

It was the day the doctors predicted. Nile sat, once again, by the bed side and watched as Kyouya's chest rose and fell faintly with his few last breaths. The heart monitor slowed as did Kyouya's heart rate. His body fell limp. And the monitor went off. He was done. He was gone. Free.

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_


End file.
